pumpkin spice victory.

Me: “I hate how I know how many calories are in everything. It’s so frustrating. It sucks the joy out of eating.”

Erin: “I know! Sometimes I just want to get a muffin or a pumpkin spice latte and fully enjoy it.”

Me: “Agreed. In fact, I’ve never even gotten a pumpkin spice latte for that exact reason.”

This is a snapshot of a conversation Erin and I had over breakfast one morning, and that final statement I made about never having a pumpkin spice latte before has remained true since then. Until this morning, that is.

When I showed up for work today, I was greeted with two beautiful orchids, birthday cards from the girls on the marketing team, and a tasty little coffee beverage from my dear friend and co-worker Ashley. Yep, you guessed it–it was a pumpkin spice latte.

I’ll admit, even after all of the years of healing I’ve experienced and the freedom from calorie restriction I now live in, I second-guessed whether I would drink it. Maybe I shouldn’t have it. Maybe I should only drink half of it. Or, maybe I should just leave the past where it belongs, and enjoy the delicious treat on my desk.

I’m thankful to say, I decided on the latter option. I told that little voice in the back of my head to be quiet, and reminded him that he had no place to speak into my life anymore. And then, I took a sip. It was scary, I’ll admit, but it was absolutely worth it. Then I took another sip, and another, and 30 minutes later I found myself finishing off the very last drop.

Little did Ashley know, this morning she would give me far more than just a birthday coffee. Instead, she became a vehicle for God to declare freedom in yet another area of my life. As I said before, there has been so much healing from bondage to perfectionist eating that has taken place over the past few years, yet every once in a while I come across a food or drink that I realize is still on my “unsafe” food list. And when that happens, I take a bite or a sip and it’s so much more than nourishment for my body; it’s nourishment for my soul, because it’s one more taste of freedom that comes from the Lord alone.

Praise you, God, for the freedom you give us from the bondage of the sin of this world. Thank you for being a God that brings things full-circle, and who makes good things from nasty little things in our past. Thank you for working through Ashley and pumpkin spice lattes. Thank you for victory through your Cross.